Remember MacGyver? Sure you do. He’s the guy who could get himself out of any situation using basically anything within his reach. We see a bar of chocolate, MacGyver sees the perfect substance to stop a sulfuric acid leak (by the way, Myth Busters proved this works if you were curious). Point is, we all love to find clever and ninja-like uses for our household items. What’s even better is when those household items happen to be video game-related! Lose weight by grabbing a Wii Fit? Hellz yeah! Improve brain power by playing Brain Age? Sign me up, homes! Look extra sexy to all those ladies out there by spazzing out in front of a Kinect? Covered! There are many nice and sometimes unexpected benefits that come from video games. Because I like you, I’m going to tell you about a few of these forbidden secrets.
Ah, Crap...
As a Nintendo Fanboy, I get so sick of people telling me that their Nintendo Wii’s just sit around collecting dust. For shame, people! Yeah, I know there is a ton of shovel-ware out there, but stop crying like a wee miss Nancy and do something about it! Now, let’s move on to the dark side for a moment and humor an idea that there just might be a mythological something something known as the “Homebrew Channel” for the Wii. Then, what if I told you that you could upload all of your Wii games using this Homebrew madness, in addition to turning your Wii into a full on old-school game emulator power house? And what if we took it a step further and said it was easier than ever to make this “HBC” business available on your Wii? I’d say you just gave yourself a reason set yourself free with some Wiidom! Check out this handy guide to installing the Homebrew Channel on your Wii. Your Nintendo makes an awesome paper weight, but you paid too much for it to just sit around and look cool. Make it fun again! http://ca.lifehacker.com/5518518/how-to-back-up-and-play-your-wii-games-from-an-external-hard-drive
Do you still have an original Xbox? Odds are that if you do, you pretty much never use it. But you should! Even if you don’t have one, you can go on Amazon and buy one for a measly $37 used *head explodes*. Man, that makes me feel old. Thirty seven dollars!? Good Gawd! I remember when you nearly had to sell an organ to buy an original Xbox! Anyway, back to the point. You can do some insanely awesome things with an Xbox; namely install the all-so-popular XBMC Media Center. This Media Center allows you to create the most pimped-out and customizable Media Center your friends have ever seen. Create one of these XMBC beasts and give yourself the ability to effortlessly view stored TV shows, music, pictures, and movies (which can be sorted by an insane amount of categories such as actors, directors, HD availability, associated movie trailers, etc.). Even better, the interface looks gorgeous and allows you to customize your setup with countless unique skins. Lastly, my favorite: you can sweeten the deal by loading your old Xbox with retro Nintendo Games, which can be cycled through via a snazzy game art selection screen. Feeling inspired? Make your own pimp-tastic Xbox Media Center by following the instructions found here: http://lifehacker.com/5536963/the-ultimate-start-to-finish-guide-to-your-xbmc-media-center
Xbox's biggest problem was that it wasn't a Nintendo. Problem solved!
Let’s not forget that video games are the perfect tools for romance. What!? You don’t think nerd-love exists? It is the best kind! One of my old coworkers met her husband through playing World of Warcraft (Match.com is for sissies). It happens. I remember I used to talk to girls on X-Band for Super Nintendo back when I was in middle school. Yes, believe it or not, you could play the original Super Mario Kart against people online across a screaming-fast 56k modem and then chat with them afterwords, using your SNES controller to type. And damn, was it ghetto! Thankfully games have gotten a lot more advanced, and easier to get into since I was a young lad in middle school. Let’s get down to business on how you can use Nintendo to create the romantic relationship of your dreams. Now whip out your Wii, and be slick about it. Lads, this is for you so, listen carefully. The setup: invite a woman you’re interested in over to your house (bonus point for not being creepy about it). Fire up your Nintendo Wii and pop in Wii Sports. Now it’s time to gamble a little bit, create some excitement, and throw a little passion into the evening…all without the Barry White or the scented candles (those things are for amateurs!) Tell the lucky lady that you want to challenge her to a match of Wii Bowling, and if you win, she has to do something absolutely unthinkable: she must give you a deep, passionate kiss. Of course the beauty is, if you’ve built up good rapport with her, odds are she will still give you a kiss even if you lose (She will have to celebrate her victory somehow, right? Muhuhaha!). Now, fire up the game and try your damndest to beat her (trust me, you will lose because women are incredible at Wii Bowling… and besides, you don’t want her to think you went easy on her!). The result: you lost, but really you won. Quick: crank up that Wii victory music, while you make out. If she is still kissing you while that horrendous 10 second Nintendo theme loops endlessly, you have clearly made an impression. Excellent work, lad! Thank you Nintendo!
Wiidom!
Right on, bro!
